Question #1: Why during the Divine Liturgy, in the “Prayer before Communion” do we say “…of who I am FIRST” ? Obviously people have sinned before we did. And if it’s in the sense of “worst”… what if we believe we are guilty, but maybe not as evil as some others.
Answer (with the help of our Eparchial Liturgist, Deacon Cyril): The meaning is not that I have sinned prior to others, but that I am the chief of sinners. This is a quote from 1 Timothy 1:15 – “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” – The Apostle Paul is convicting himself at the chief/first of sinners, probably having in mind his persecution of the Church.
But, that raises the question from your parishioner “what if we believe we are guilty, but maybe not as evil as some others”. If we apply that thinking to Paul, we likely will come up against the same objection: Paul, as bad as he was, was responsible for the deaths of a few people (maybe a few dozen), whereas we know others in history have done far worse. So we probably need to approach the statement in a different way, by removing the element of comparison.
Read Luke 5:1-11 (one of the first passages read from Luke’s gospel, usually on a Sunday in September or October). Here Jesus has an encounter with Simon Peter, and once Simon realizes what’s going on and who he is with, he says “depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” In the presence of the living God, Peter becomes profoundly aware of his sin. The same attitude is our goal before Holy Communion (and at any moment) – I don’t think about my righteousness, I think about my sin. It’s part of the point of the Sunday gospels we just finished reading: God wants me to identify with Zachaeus, with the Publican, with the Prodigal. Yes, I need to learn not to be like the Pharisee or the older brother, but most important is that I learn to repent like the Publican and the Prodigal repented – “I am not worthy to be called your son.” When I say that without looking to the person on my left or right and wondering how worthy he/she is, I’m starting to understand the great gift of God’s love and mercy.
Question #2: In the same prayer we say “…I will not tell Your mysteries to your enemies…”. Arn’t we supposed to tell everyone about the beauty of the Eucharist? Who is it that we should not tell?
Answer: I know less about this point. I think it may have come from a medieval legend that Judas did not consume the Holy Communion he received at the Last Supper, but took it out and showed it to the Jewish leaders who were going to kill Christ. Perhaps we don’t know what to make about this legend, but the phrase in the prayer is not inconsistent with the scriptures or the tradition. Jesus tells us to preach the gospel, but also not to throw pearls before swine. Actually, as amazing at the Eucharist is, it is not the basis of our Christian message to those outside the Church – we proclaim that Jesus died and rose for our salvation: once people can accept that, they are brought into the Church through baptism and can receive Holy Communion. Converting people through the Eucharist was not the practice of the early Church, and in fact unbaptized people were not allowed to remain in the Church during the consecration of the Eucharist or its distribution, but had to leave after the readings and homily.
Also, the phrase in its wider context (“I will not tell your mysteries to your enemies, nor will I give you a kiss as did Judas, but like the thief I confess to you, “Remember me, O Lord, when you come in your kingdom.”) again makes a contrast between two approaches to Holy Communion, themselves symbolic of different approaches to faith in Christ. I can take it for granted, or I can come like the thief, with true repentance, with no claim of righteousness, which leaves on total dependence on God’s mercy.
My regards to the anonymous questioner – please ask him or her to pray for me.
– Deacon Cyril
